feminism

Of Noble Character – A New Kind of Feminism

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Faminist or Fauxminist?  Read it here!“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10, NIV

Noble: Original Hebrew Hayil: Strength, capability, skill, valor, wealth, troop, warrior, army, able-bodied.

Ladies, we’ve been hoodwinked. Unfortunately, this duping has risen from among our own ranks. Because of the misguided efforts of the women of late 1900’s, an entire culture now faces the crisis of the disappearance  of true womanhood.  The original vision, championed by feminist heroes such as Susan B. Anthony, was equality: This radical idea that men and women have equal value, equal rights, equal opportunities in life, and equal contributions to society.  The efforts of these brave women of the suffrage made it possible for us to enjoy the life and liberties that we do today.

But over the last 50 years, something has gone terribly wrong.  Equality itself has morphed into this idea that the previously oppressed is now superior to their former oppressors and that our empowerment comes from abandoning the very things that make us women while simultaneously trampling all men under the might of our high-heel.

The Great Facade

There are many trends in modern-day feminism (herein referred to as fauxminism) that actually anger me, because they are things that sell themselves as strengthening women while they, in fact, do quite the opposite.  The most prominent is abortion, which I believe to be the greatest insult to women that has ever existed.  The abortion industry, just by the nature of what it does, lies to women, telling us that we are not strong or resourceful enough to rise to the challenge ahead.  They take advantage of a crisis to sell a “service” that leaves a wake of destruction and heartache in that woman’s life, all under the masquerade of “choice” and “control”.   Organizations like Feminists For Life have been able to clearly articulate the flaws in the marketing of this industry saying, “Abortion is a reflection that our society has failed to meet the needs of women. Women deserve better.”

Sandra-FLuke_2157030bAnother irritant comes from the “Affordable Care Act” mandate saying that women are now entitled to free contraceptives, as if birth-control deficiency is now a disease that is going to leave masses of women dying in the streets if left untreated.  My question for Sandra Fluke is, “How does depending on the government to provide you with a medication that allows men to further objectify you and take advantage of your body without consequence make you a stronger woman?”  Wouldn’t true self-confidence say, “I am so awesome that if you want any where near this body you’d better ‘put a ring on it’?”

The last is how we’ve been taught to live in this world full of men.  Fauxminism teaches us to not need men in a way that we’re supposed to need men, and to need men in a way that we’re not supposed to.

Did you get all that?

Ladies, this means getting a false sense of value by what we can physically offer to men while refusing to take from them what we really need: love, protection and provision (and then ironically, demanding protection and provision from the government, which I like to refer to as the ‘Fauxminist substitute husband’).  And this doesn’t just weaken women, it weakens men, too.  Are you a single gal wondering why the dating pool seems to be full of ambitious-less “man boys” who are into their thirties playing video games in their parent’s basement with no intentions of supporting a family any time soon?  You can get your answer from 1980’s fauxminism.  Women are strongest when we act like women, and men are strongest when women act like women.

So, does this mean that if we don’t all go back to being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen that civilization will collapse?  Good Lord, no!  Just look at what God thinks that women should be in the verse above.  Proverbs uses that Hebrew word for “Noble” to describe a woman 3 times.  The true strength of a woman comes from embracing the design of the Creator, not from trying to be like a man.  Our gifts and talents as women, physical abilities, childbearing, femininity, are all differences that should be celebrated and compliment the differences in the men in our lives.  This call is no easy task.  It takes the heart of a noble warrior.  It takes a radical faith and trust in the Lord.  It takes a brave and courageous spirit.

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“Abortion Is Not Empowering For Women” – Real Abortion Stories

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Read C.C.’s story

“My abortion was 30 years ago and still impacts my life today.

At the age of 21, I entered into a relationship with a man that I felt was great marriage material. He had a good job and owned a house. I felt secure with him. We occasionally attended church and I liked his family. I hoped our relationship would restore the years of dysfunction, abuse and divorce I had experienced as a child. I now realize that was a lot to ask of one person.

Several months into our relationship, I found out I was pregnant. I thought that this would be an exciting new adventure and challenge for us. I remember waiting until just the right time to share, with excitement, the news of my positive pregnancy test. As I told him about the results, I could see his countenance change. He shifted in his seat and squarely told me that he did not want to be a father and he would pay for an abortion. I was reeling inside trying to process what he was saying. I loved this man and wanted to marry him. How could I reconcile that I was going to have to choose my boyfriend or my child?

I’ll never forget the day of the “procedure”. It was rainy and I remember entering the doctor’s office to see several women in the waiting room. These were not women, myself included, that were empowered by the choice to have an abortion. It was clear to see we were all uncertain about what was about to happen to us. Some were staring at the floor, others cried quietly. I remember signing in, thinking, “What am I doing here?” “How can I get away?” I don’t remember my boyfriend being there, although he must have been because he drove me and paid for the abortion. I felt entirely alone; a member of some club I had no desire to be apart of. Who was this person that signed in, numbly took the Valium, and silently waited for my name to be called? Where was my voice?

To this day, I can’t remember how far along I was but I know I delayed as long as I could in hopes that my boyfriend would change his mind about the pregnancy. I now know that it must have been an early second trimester abortion, because the prep started a couple of days before the procedure. When my turn came, I clearly remember shutting down emotionally, trying to ignore the sound of suctioning and coldness of the doctor and nurse. I asked the nurse if she could tell if it was a boy or a girl. She said she thought it was a boy but it was too early to tell for sure. I remember returning to a room afterward where other girls were laying on beds that lined the wall. I remember vomiting and wanting to die as I listened to others weeping, obviously feeling the same way I did.

As I walked out of that clinic I remember feeling the finality of the decision I had just made. I could never undo what had been done. I felt like my very soul had been removed from me. I was especially aware of how ashamed I felt because I knew my choice was wrong and that, even though I had recently become a Christian, I made a decision motivated by fear and a desire to please another person. I felt a separation in my relationship with God that I had never felt before. I had not trusted Him. I just wanted to hide.

Along with feelings of despair, I was confused because initially I made the decision to abort in order to maintain my relationship with my boyfriend. I hoped that I could remain in the security it afforded me, but the second the procedure was over; I wanted nothing to do with him. I had lost all respect for him and wondered how I could have made such a sacrifice for someone I no longer wanted. He had not stepped up and reassured me that we could make it through this challenge. He had not rescued me at the clinic but instead delivered me to the door and let me pay the price.

The days, weeks and months after the abortion were the darkest of my life. I had in the past turned to God for comfort when I was hurting but I found it difficult to cry out to Him because of the choice I had made. How do you approach a Holy God after taking a life? I tried many different things to try to fill the void in my life but nothing satisfied me. In those dark days, God heard the cry of my heart because slowly He began restoring my life and surrounding me with authentic Christian people. However, it would be years before I felt safe enough to share my “secret” with them. I faithfully served at church but had conveniently tucked my abortion into a locked safe and pretended it never happened. I returned to work and school and I later met my husband, who I’ve been married to for 27 years. I studied and became a nurse and went on to have 2 children.

Only 5 years ago, God began to reveal that only healed people can help others to heal and hidden things are not necessarily healed. In order to work with an organization that helps men and women facing an unplanned pregnancy, I had to attend a post-abortive recovery class. I am so thankful I did! This is when the real healing began. I was able to really look at why I had made the choice I did and how this impacted the choices I made after the abortion. The class also allowed time to grieve the loss of my child. And most importantly, I was able to “come clean” with God by discovering that Jesus sacrifice even covers the sin of abortion. There is nothing more freeing than having the weight of such an offense lifted. God revealed His incredible mercy, grace and restorative power, not only for me, but anyone who is crushed in spirit and asks in repentance for His forgiveness. Psalm 51 and 1 John 1:9 remain as some of my favorite reminders of these truths.

I now meet with men and women facing the challenge of an unplanned pregnancy, hear their stories and provide support and resources that might make it possible for them to choose options other than abortion. I also facilitate post-abortive classes for those who have chosen abortion in the past and are seeking hope and healing.

In retrospect, I can see how God has used my “mess” from so many years ago to become my message to this generation. Namely, that abortion is not empowering for women. It is not the magic eraser that so many believe it is. It is a big deal! It takes a life and can destroy or at least alter the lives of those involved for many years.

If you are post-abortive, I encourage you to find a safe place to tell your story and so begin the process of healing. You won’t regret it!” – C.C.

Struggling with a past abortion? Click Here

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