Snailum Kids Say It Best

Kids do indeed say the darnedest things, and around the Snailum house, we’re never short of a good one-liner.  Between the logic-driven quirkiness of our autistic son, the creative genius of our other, and the innocent princess-ness of our daughter, we are constantly rolling in laughter, or being challenged in our thinking.  So now, for your enjoyment, here’s a sampling of the mind of a Snailum child:


Night-Vision Goggles

Samuel (9):  “Mom, can I ask you a question?”

Mom:  “Of course.”

Samuel:  “Well, at 6:00 am in the night, when you and daddy were sleeping, I used the night-vision goggles to sneak into your room and look at my Christmas presents.”

Mom:  “Oh, I see.  Thank you for telling me.  And how does that decision make you feel now?”

Samuel:  “Well, kind of sad, because they weren’t bright enough and I couldn’t see them very well.”

Mom:  “Okay, and is that the only thing that makes you sad?

Samuel:  “Yeah.”

Jesus’ Mother

Donnie leading the boys in a bible study of the wedding at Cana (where Jesus turns water into wine)
Donnie: “Sam, what was the big miracle that day?”
Samuel (8): “Jesus invited his mother.”

Two Butts

Silas (2) – While watching his sister’s diaper change: “Where is sister’s penis?”

Mom: “Girls don’t have one honey.”

Silas: “Oh, ok”

later that day at the lunch table with great-grandma…

Mom: “Silas, tell Mimi what you learned today.”

Silas: “Well, I learned that girls have 1 – 2 butts.  One butt in the front and one butt in the back.”


Mom: “Boys, no one gets cake tonight until all the toys downstairs are picked up.”

Samuel (6): “Well mom, I don’t care much for sugar anymore, but thank you.”

Silas (5): “I care very much for sugar.”

Date night

Silas (5):  “Mom, I want to take you on a date, but I’m not big enough to drive.  Can you pay, too?”


Samuel (7): “God makes the grown-up boys and the grown-up girls and the grown-up girls make the babies.”

Silas (6): “No, God makes the babies too, and just puts them in there.”

Thanking Jesus

Adalie (3) Walks up to painting of Jesus: “Thank you for taking away my tummy ache.”

Sign-up Sheet

Mom: “Si, what’s that?”

Silas (6): “It’s a sign-up sheet for kids in my class who don’t know Jesus and want to learn.  I’m teaching a class at recess.”

Memorial Day

Samuel (7): “There’s no school on Monday, it’s memory day.  That’s when we worship people who died.”

Cute Things

Mom: “Adalie, where do you come up with the cute things you say?”

Adalie (3): “Um, from my mouth.”


Silas (7): “Mom, is it true that in golf, the lowest score is the best?”

Mom: “yes.”

Silas: “Then if I never play, I’ll be the best golfer ever!”

I’m a child!

Silas (7) after falling off his bike and scraping his knee: “I need medical attention!”

Dad: “Silas, are you a boy?”

Silas: “I am a child!  not a grown man who plays football!”


Mom: “Sam, I am going to grab Silas from school.  Keep the doors locked and don’t open them.”

Samuel (8): “OK, oh, and mom?  I’ll try not to sneak any marshmallows or Fruit Roll-ups while you are gone.”


Random adult:  “How long does it take to drive to Vancouver?”

Silas (5): “About 3 movies”


Mom: “No, we’re not buying that kind of juice, it’s too expensive.”

Silas (7): “Well mom, I think I need to spend my money because my heart’s becoming attached to it.”

5-Nice Things

We make the kids say 5-nice things each to each other when they’re in a fight:

Adalie to Sam:
“Your transformer looks nice.
Your coat looks nice.
Your shorts look nice.
Your teeth are really shiny.
Your eyes look like a rainbow.”
Samuel to Adalie:
“Your eyes look like a rainbow too.
Your shoes are on the right feet, good job.
Your coat looks nice.
The bird houses you painted are good. You are nice.


One thought on “Snailum Kids Say It Best

    mimivan said:
    January 18, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    Thank you for the smiles and giggles you all give me! Love you!! xoxo Mimi

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