BEING MOM

“Mommy wars” got ya down?  Are you feeling guilty that your Facebook friend is preparing pinterest-worthy home cooked meals and photos of crafts with the kids she home-birthed and breastfed for 3 years while your child is eating Top Ramen out of the bag for breakfast on the way to school?  Then you’re in good company.

No, there was no party.  It just happens.

 Went grocery shopping last Tuesday. I suppose it’s time to put these non-perishables away…. Considering that this is Friday (I think) and these have been sitting here since then. They’ve been pillaged for cereal and cans of ravioli (you know, dinner) just not put away.

For the last few weeks, the boys have been doing all their own laundry. Totally worth ruining any potential re-sale value on the machines. We’ll just tell the next owners that they “come with instructions”.

Today is the day, I can feel it! Today I will rotate that load I put in the washer last week and have re-ran half a dozen times since. And if not today, then for sure tomorrow.

 This:

As a hospital-birthing, formula feeding, vaccinating, cry-it-out, disposable diapering mom, I can’t say enough how much I loved this, especially since Facebook can often make a mom feel like superior parenting is in the details. What I think the real “right way” is?: Love your kids like crazy, model Christ for them, then love them some more.

http://www.cheetosforbreakfast.com/2013/03/a-letter-to-young-mothers.html

So, the kids pack their own lunches, because I am an awesome, vigilant mom like that, and Silas decided that he wanted a cheeseburger for lunch. So, naturally, he grabs 2 buns, mayo, cheese, pickles, and a RAW FROZEN patty, slaps it all together and puts it in his lunchbox. The school spared me the “bad mom” phone call today so I didn’t find out about this until Silas got in the car and told me all about why he had to buy hot lunch.

December 6, 2012: 30 degrees outside and the boys are arguing over who “gets to” start the car. Suckers.

The funniest thing on the internet.  Ever.

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/30/worst-end-of-school-year-mom-ever

The second funniest thing on the internet:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/27-reasons-why-kids-are-actually-the-worst-6z51?sub=1801947_630432

After an epic tantrum including crying, feet stomping, and a time-out (the kids cried a little, too) I have decided that the kids are big enough to learn how to do laundry. My apologies to the neighbors. Pay no attention the the hysterical woman next door yelling, “I already have a job and guess what, it’s not ‘your maid'”!

This:

October 13, 2012:  “Every day should have a goal. My goal for today is to not change out of my pj’s, which pretty much limits me to the house and Walmart.”

Dear future wives… You’re welcome.

Today is the day I decided to clean out my car, because my friend Keri told me it stunk. Only a true friend would tell you your car stinks. I saw things in that car today folks… unspeakable horrors that would make grown men cry. But, two garbage bags, a shop vac, and 1 bottle of 409 later, I can now say to others with confidence, “Hey, lets take my car”.