Have you seen this image floating around on Facebook? A couple of months ago, I saw it appear in my news-feed posted by a young college student where it received comments such as, “girl, you got that right”, “Don’t I know it”, and “OMG, this is SO TRUE!” I didn’t think it was funny or true at all. In fact, it broke my heart.
The truth is, Disney Princes shouldn’t be seen as unrealistic, but instead should set the bar for what a young woman should expect from a suitor: A man who is courageous yet kind, heroic and tender, patient, long-suffering, selfless, chivalrous, hard-working, who lives and dies for the needs of his wife and family, and loves both passionately, and faithfully. How do I know that this kind of prince exists? Because I married one. Unfortunately, as many of the young women who commented on this photo are discovering, not all men fit that bill. The question is, where and how are they finding all these leavers, cheaters, and mistreaters?
How you attract a man determines what kind of man you’ll catch.
If you’re putting on your sexiest party dress and headed for the club to lay a snare for Mr. Right, please stop acting surprised when all you end up with is Mr. Wrong, because being in a committed relationship has nothing to do with looking sexy, but instead is about being more in love with them than on your wedding day after 9 years of waking up next to the same dragon breath and pillow hair. If a man is interested in you because of the way you look, what will happen when you don’t look like that anymore? (Or as Proverbs 31 says, “… beauty is fleeting…”) Believe it or not, there are men out there that are attracted to virtue, character, and faith. These are the heroes that stay put when the makeup wears off, when the going gets tough, when the stretch marks take over, and when disagreements arise.
One of the seasons I haven’t given my husband enough praise for is when our son, Silas, was born and I went through post-partum depression. He would come home after a long day at work to a disaster of a house and two kids who had barley been taken care of and start in cleaning, feeding, rocking, changing, cooking, putting them to bed, waking up with a newborn every couple of hours in the night, and then head to work to do it all over again each day for over a month. That is how I define a man.
“A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek God to find it” – Author unknown
We recently had a youth event where the speaker produced a $20 bill and asked our kids who wanted it. All, of course, did. Then he crumpled it up and asked, “how about now?”. They all still did. Then he stepped on it and asked again. They all still wanted it. Then he spit on it, and asked again. The bill was still in high demand. No matter what happened to the bill, it never lost its value. And neither do women. God made each of us valuable. Sadly I see over and over again that young (and old) women feel that somehow their upbringing, past, lies of the enemy, or appearance disqualifies them from being “worthy” of a prince. They think so little of themselves (consciously or unconsciously) that they settle for anyone who will look their way, then the cycle continues with each new heartache.
God desires for each of us to have a fulfilling relationship that glorifies Him, that’s why He made Eve for Adam. He has a prince for each of His princesses, and if you trust Him, wait on Him, and really understand the love and value with which He sees you, you won’t settle for being treated any other way. Prince Charming is indeed alive and well.
If you’re asking yourself, “What the heck is going on in Texas?” It would be my pleasure to fill you in.
You probably read the story a couple of weeks ago in the news: A courageous young senator in bright pink tennis shoes stood for hours on end to filibusterer a bill that would have closed down nearly every abortion clinic in Texas, causing women to seek life-threatening back alley procedures. The sound was throngs of women chanting and cheering on their hero as she refused to back down to protect their rights. And since her quest was successful, the Governor called the House and Senate back for a special session. But what rights, exactly, did Wendy Davis attempt to secure for the women she was “fighting for” that day? How about
- The right to have an abortion in a facility that has less regulation than your local tattoo parlor.
- The right to receive an abortion pill that can cause life threatening bleeding and other side effects without being seen or examined by an actual doctor.
- The right to have non-medically trained personnel assist in their procedures.
- The right to have a surgical procedure in a facility that does not have door/hallways wide enough for a gurney in the event that a patient needs to be removed and transported by ambulance to a hospital.
- The right to have an abortion by a doctor who does not have admitting privileges to a hospital.
- The right to have an abortion (surgical procedure) without a 24/7 advise/emergency telephone number to call following the procedure.
- And lastly, the right to have an abortion after 20 weeks gestation (half-way through the pregnancy when most experts agree that the baby is capable of feeling pain)
I know, I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Wait a minute, I thought that Wendy Davis, and abortion supporters fought this bill to protect women, but it sounds like the BILL protects women?”
“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” – Romans 14:13
Here is an eye-opening video from Jason Evert that every woman needs to see about male brain patterns and modesty:
Resources for modest swimwear:
Okay, I have a little confession to make: I have a potty mouth. I know you’re shocked, but it’s true. I’m no truck driver, but I’ve been known to let one slip here and there. My son recently confronted me on my use of the “S” word, to which I replied, “Mommy will stop using the “S” word when you boys stop leaving your Legos where I walk”. This little exchange got me to pondering the true meanings of our modern swear words and what makes them all that bad. Let’s see what Dictionary.com has to say:
The “S” word: Poop
noun, verb, interjection Vulgar
1. excrement; feces.
2. an act of defecating; evacuation.
The “A” word: A donkey
1. a long-eared, slow, patient, sure-footed domesticated mammal, Equus asinus, related to the horse, used chiefly as a beast of burden.
2. any wild species of the genus Equus, as the onager.
The “B” word: A female dog
1. a female dog: The b**** won first place in the sporting dogs category.
2. a female of canines generally.
The “D” word: Bad
verb (used with object)
1. to declare (something) to be bad, unfit, invalid, or illegal.
2. to condemn as a failure: to damn a play.
The “F” word: OK, this one really isn’t great and actually means what it’s used for.
No one really knows where this word came from or when it took on its current meaning.
Doing this research brought me back to a time when my friends and I thought we were really cool by looking them up in the dictionary and giggling. Being 10 was awesome.
I’ve spent most of my Christian years equating the use of these words to sin or verbal toxin. But obviously, there’s nothing bad about donkeys, female dogs, calling something bad, if it is, or poop. So what’s the real problem?
I have a theory.
Even though I don’t believe that the words themselves are all that bad, there’s still an argument as to why not to use them. That’s because these words are spoken mostly in negative speech, not when speaking about something positively (unless, of course, you play the banjo and make moonshine in your back yard). James 3:5-11 says this:
“Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. “
My suspicion is that James is speaking less to our modern swear words, and more to this:
“Do all things without grumbling or complaining.” – Philippians 214
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29
When our attitudes, thoughts, and focus is on what is positive, pure, and helpful, our modern vulgarities will naturally have no place in our speech. That’s why the corrective focus shouldn’t be on the words themselves, but the heart from which they are spoken. Do you know any Christians with toilet-bowl attitudes and divisive language who tout their righteousness just because the Big-5 isn’t part of their vocab? (OK, another confession, I have TOTALLY been one of those people) I would now argue that slander, gossip, and negativity are worse than 4-letter words. I can say that because I’ve always been one of those glass-half-empty folks, and the Holy Spirit has been challenging me on what wholesome talk really is, and more importantly, where it comes from:
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
“At all times and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.” Ephesians 5: 20
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” – Matthew 6:33
Surrendering our stinking thinking to the Lord and renewing our minds by the truth of His word will, on its own, eliminate undesirable speech. I have been challenged to be more optimistic, and to speak words of faith, encouragement, and love. And when I step on a Lego? Well, there’s grace for that.
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I recently read the book Bonhoeffer, the life story of Dietrich Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas, who brilliantly describes the political, cultural, and church climate that lead to the rise of Hitler in Germany. I read it with a good amount of concern because all the while, I couldn’t help but feeling like he was really writing about 2012 America. The then-and-now parallels of the decline of independence of the church and the people, submitting themselves to the ever growing power of their “savior” government are startling.
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