Have you seen this image floating around on Facebook? A couple of months ago, I saw it appear in my news-feed posted by a young college student where it received comments such as, “girl, you got that right”, “Don’t I know it”, and “OMG, this is SO TRUE!” I didn’t think it was funny or true at all. In fact, it broke my heart.
The truth is, Disney Princes shouldn’t be seen as unrealistic, but instead should set the bar for what a young woman should expect from a suitor: A man who is courageous yet kind, heroic and tender, patient, long-suffering, selfless, chivalrous, hard-working, who lives and dies for the needs of his wife and family, and loves both passionately, and faithfully. How do I know that this kind of prince exists? Because I married one. Unfortunately, as many of the young women who commented on this photo are discovering, not all men fit that bill. The question is, where and how are they finding all these leavers, cheaters, and mistreaters?
How you attract a man determines what kind of man you’ll catch.
If you’re putting on your sexiest party dress and headed for the club to lay a snare for Mr. Right, please stop acting surprised when all you end up with is Mr. Wrong, because being in a committed relationship has nothing to do with looking sexy, but instead is about being more in love with them than on your wedding day after 9 years of waking up next to the same dragon breath and pillow hair. If a man is interested in you because of the way you look, what will happen when you don’t look like that anymore? (Or as Proverbs 31 says, “… beauty is fleeting…”) Believe it or not, there are men out there that are attracted to virtue, character, and faith. These are the heroes that stay put when the makeup wears off, when the going gets tough, when the stretch marks take over, and when disagreements arise.
One of the seasons I haven’t given my husband enough praise for is when our son, Silas, was born and I went through post-partum depression. He would come home after a long day at work to a disaster of a house and two kids who had barley been taken care of and start in cleaning, feeding, rocking, changing, cooking, putting them to bed, waking up with a newborn every couple of hours in the night, and then head to work to do it all over again each day for over a month. That is how I define a man.
“A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek God to find it” – Author unknown
We recently had a youth event where the speaker produced a $20 bill and asked our kids who wanted it. All, of course, did. Then he crumpled it up and asked, “how about now?”. They all still did. Then he stepped on it and asked again. They all still wanted it. Then he spit on it, and asked again. The bill was still in high demand. No matter what happened to the bill, it never lost its value. And neither do women. God made each of us valuable. Sadly I see over and over again that young (and old) women feel that somehow their upbringing, past, lies of the enemy, or appearance disqualifies them from being “worthy” of a prince. They think so little of themselves (consciously or unconsciously) that they settle for anyone who will look their way, then the cycle continues with each new heartache.
God desires for each of us to have a fulfilling relationship that glorifies Him, that’s why He made Eve for Adam. He has a prince for each of His princesses, and if you trust Him, wait on Him, and really understand the love and value with which He sees you, you won’t settle for being treated any other way. Prince Charming is indeed alive and well.